Our Birth Story

Dear Scarlett,

I want to write down your birth story so that I can not only remember it a few years down the road in detail, but so that you can also read it when you are old enough to understand.

Where to start?

On the morning of January 25th, already being a week overdue, Mom and Dad had a scheduled doctor's appointment at SoundCare. We were to meet Dr. Rousseau as Nurse Nicole was away on vacation this week. Before seeing the doctor, we first had an ultrasound to take your measurement, and measure the fluid around you to ensure there was still enough for you to be safe. We were then sent back to the waiting room waiting to be called in to see the doctor.

You mother was very anxious and uncomfortable while waiting and made sure to let me know at every break in our conversation.... "what is taking so long".... "why do they make pregnant ladies wait all the time"...etc.

Eventually we were called into the examination room. After the obligatory urine check and the standard weigh-in, we were told that the fluid levels in your home (the placenta) were at the level where it is considered low and that if they let the pregnancy go much longer, it could become dangerous for you. Dr. Rousseau made the decision that it was time to get this party started and for you to show your face.

She sent in the required papers to the Hospital and your mom and I were told that we were going to get a call from the hospital in the next 1-3 days, to be induced when they had some availability.

I think that was the first point that I (and I believe your mom too) was like like "Whoa... I'm actually going to meet my baby girl really soon"

We returned the car and proceeded to bring me back to work (it was around 10:30am). On the drive, the phones were going crazy, we were calling Memere and Pepere, Pepere and Grammie, Matante Tanya and Matante Sondra, I believe your mom also called Becca to share in the excitement. We however didn't know how long it would be so we needed to tell everyone to be on standby and that we could get the call at any time.

When I got back to work, I traded a few text messages with your mother to keep her updated on what was going on at work, when I had meeting and what people were saying. She was busy at home ensuring that everything we needed was ready to go, although, knowing your mother, you know that her bags were packed weeks in advance and were ripped apart and re-packed at least twice to make sure she had everything.

I had a meeting with the whole team from 2:00-3:00pm and I brought my phone in and let them know just so they were aware I remember that it was still a newish phone at the time and and it was my first smart phone so I was showing Kate some of the cool things it did before the meeting (I bet this will be funny to me in a few years when technology is well beyond this). The meeting started and I put my phone down. I had it on silent for obvious reasons. I for some reason at about 2:18 looked at it and noticed that I missed a call. I thought that was weird as you mom wouldn't have called as I just told her I was in a meeting. I checked and it was indeed her and I immediately sent her a text message asking her what was up? She replied basically as soon as I sent the message indicating that she was sending one to me at the same time. It said something along the lines of "We got the call and can come in right now". I then got another one right after that in response to the one I had just sent saying "COME HOME NOW!!!"

I can only imagine the look on my face at that time. It must have been a mix of scared, nervous and excited. I sat up in my chair and noticed a few people look at me. I put my phone in my pocket and stood up, interrupting the meeting with me somehow being able to say "I have to go". The Director running the meeting said "Pour vrai???" very excitedly as everyone was aware of the situation. They all bid be farewell and ensured to wish me good luck.

I then stumbled over to my desk, noticed your mother had also called my desk phone, and called her back. She must have had her finger on the receive button as I don't even think it rang before she excitedly answered the phone. I asked her what they said and when they called and all the details that she could give me. She said that the hospital had just called and that they said we could come in as soon as we could get there. I remember her telling me that they asked when we think we could get there and she said that by the time I got home and was able to make it over there, it would be about an hour, to which the nurse from the hospital said "alright, we'll see you in a few hours." She was right. It took us a few hours to get there

I asked if she wanted me to take a cab home or if I could just take the bus. She said, she was just finishing up getting things ready at home and that it wasn't a rush so I could take the bus. At the time we were living near Bayshore and I worked downtown.

When I got to the bus stop (in record time), There were only two buses, then the 97 pulled up. This was very exciting. I didn't have to wait which at that time of day is very common. During that trip is was back to the phone! Called Memere and Matante Tanya to let them know what was going on. Emailed the email train to let them know as well. Matante Tanya and Carson were both sick so they were sad to inform us that they would not be able to make it.

When I finally got home, I was greeted by your very overly grinning mother-to-be. Bags were nearly ready to go, just waiting for a few things from me. We packed it all up and headed to the Hospital. A picture was captured with your mother beside the bags along with one of me on the drive over.

(TWO PHOTOS)

We arrived at the hospital around 4:30-5:00pm, parked the car and knew exactly where to go as we had taken the pre-natal classes and had also already been there once when your mother had a bit of a circulation problem during pregnancy.

We were placed in a waiting room while our room was prepared. We were probably in there for 30-40 minutes, but as you know, your mother doesn't like to wait so she was going on about "why would they ask us to come if they would have us waiting in here for so long". This went on until the nurse came to get us to pull us into the delivery room where you were to be born.... or so we thought.

The room was quite large with a lot of equipment, a bathroom and in the corner was this little fold-out chair that would be my home for the night. Who knew that that would be the most comfortable I would be during the entire stay at the hospital. I put the bags down and helped your mom get changed into her gown. She then hopped into bed and in came the nurses, hooking up your mother to a bunch of machines to monitor both of your heartbeats and the contractions.

The doctor was next to come in to try to break the water. After trying a number of times, it was unsure if it actually broke. In the next few hours, they tried a few more times and also started pushing a bunch of medicine into your mother to try to get contractions going.

Visitors all started to arrive from out and in town. Memere and Pepere were the first to arrive, followed closely by Pepere and Grammie. Becca, Adam and Greyson were also there along with Matante Sondra, who was in town conveniently to do a show and Michelle.

As the hours passed, the dosage rose and so did the contractions, but still no sign of the bag breaking for certain as with the low amount of fluid left, there was no way to be sure. Visitors all took their turns coming in to see how things were going. Everyone was also getting very tired. The pain also started to rise, along with your mother's frustration. The choice was eventually made that she was going to get the epidural.

After that, things started to calm down. At this point it was around midnight on January 26th. We were both able to relax for a bit and get a little sleep. Pepere and Grammie went back to our house for a bit to catch some shut-eye, Matante Sondra went to Michelle's to get some sleep, Memere and Pepere stayed at the hospital and slept on the couches in the waiting room, Becca, Adam and Greyson went home and were a little sad because they wouldn't be able to return until the following evening after work and would most likely miss the birth...oh were they ever wrong.

I remember Grammie coming into the room just before leaving. I think she was coming in to say they were going to get some sleep. Both your mother and I were sleeping. Grammie left without saying anything.

The next morning was much of the same. The dosage continued to rise, with the contractions still being sporadic. Doctors were in every hour or so to check dilation. 5 cm, 5.5, 7, 8, 8.5, 9. 9.5,9.5,9.5,9.5. It was becoming clear that it wasn't going any further after a stretch and sweep was done at every step.

The doctors decided it was time to start trying to push. Whoa.... it hit me again... is this the time? Will I now meet you?

For over two hours, your mother and the nurses struggled to try to get you moving down. The contractions were just not strong or regular enough to get you going. To your mother's suggestion, they gave her an extra half an hour of pushing to try to get you moving or another decision would need to be made.

After a valiant effort by your mother, it was decided that a Cesarean section would need to be done.

This was cause for a lot of emotion. Even though we had discussed it at length prior to the day, nothing can prepare you for that moment especially after pushing for so long. The only thing she wanted in that moment was her mom. She asked that I go get your Grammie.

I went to the waiting room and told everyone what was going on, told Grammie that she was wanted (which ruffled the feathers of a few other who wanted to go see her) and headed back. After mom was calmed down a bit, we were told we had about 15 minutes until we were heading into surgery. At this time, a few others Memere, Pepere P and Matante Sondra all came to see her off to surgery.

We were lead down a separate hallway where the operating rooms were located. Mom was wheeled into the room and I was asked to stay in the hallway, that it would be around 10-15 minutes and that they would come get me when I could come in. about three minutes later, someone came out to give me my gown, face mark and hair cover. I then sat in the hallway for about 30 minutes.... no exaggeration... which felt like two hours knowing the two of you were in the other room.

Eventually one of the people (I don't remember who) came to get me and asked me to sit down on the bench that was placed beside your mom's head. There were about 5-6 doctors/nurses at the beginning along with the anaesthesiologist (and just before you were to come out, another three people came in to take care of you from the NICU.)

There was a large curtain flowing from your mom's neck up. This was so that I couldn't see the procedure. I kept asking the anaesthesiologist (who was also beside us) for updates on what was going on step by step. I remember him being very surprised by this saying most people don't want to know. I could have probably looked for myself if I wanted to, but I really didn't want to. Mom kept going in and out of consciousness and she was shivering like crazy. I was told it was the sedatives causing this. It seemed like forever for anything to happen and I was trying not to listen to the doctor jargon as I didn't really want to know what they were moving and removing from my wife to make room.

Your mother's arm kept moving forward as well and hit the doctors a few times. Why it was not tied down, I'm not sure. Perhaps they left it available so I could hold her hand or she could stroke your head when you first came out?

Eventually came the scream. The best sound I have ever heard. Luckily your mother was conscious at the time and was able to hear it. We looked at each other both with our eyes welling up with tears and kind of a laugh cry came to us both. We were so excited to finally be able to hear you, to see you.

I then watched the NICU doctors take you over to the warmer to look you over and to do all of the things they needed to do to you. I asked a nurse if I could come over, then asked you mom if it was OK if I left her side to go, to which she replied "Of course. Take pictures".

Then I saw you up close for the first time. All gooey and screaming at everyone around to let them know that you were not happy about what was going on here. I was able to take a few quick photos of you on the warmer and being weighed.

(PHOTOS x2)

The doctors then wrapped you up put you back in the warmer to check you again. Then they said that I was able to take you. This was the first time I had the chance to hold you. The first thought that went through my mind was that you were so beautiful with your curly goopy hair. You were so quiet with your eyes fixated on mine. You were locked on. Trying to figure out who was holding you, where you were and what just happened.

Then I remembered that your mother wouldn't be able to hold you yet and my heart broke. That's all she's wanted for her whole life, to hold her newborn right after she was born. I felt like I stole something from her standing there with you. I asked if it was OK that I walked over to you mothers side, they said of course. As I sat down, she was sleeping, your eyes were still locked on me. I was able to get her somewhat awake and she attempted to give you as kiss on the head, somewhat succeeded, then quickly fell back into her medically induced slumber.

This started the hardest time in my life to date.

There I was, in the operating room, very securely holding on to my newborn baby girl, so full of joy, while at the same time, drying on the inside at the fact that I am not able to share this glorious occasion with my partner in crime, my confidant, the one you will eventually call Ma-ma. Instead I was watching her in a full-out operating room scene, one you would usually only see in Prime time, scared out of my wits, and I realized why they don't usually let loved ones in the operating room.

The room was quiet as one of the doctors had to leave to attend to another patient and the second doctor took over in closing up. They finished up and I was told I could leave the room but while mom was in the recovery room, You had to go to the NICU room to be monitored.

I didn't want to let you go.

Then I remembered that all of that family was patiently (or I imagine impatiently at this point) waiting to meet you in the waiting room. I asked the nurse, or more like told her, that we needed to go see everyone that was waiting. I remember the nurse walking alongside me down the long hallway that lead to the waiting room with her little baby transporting tray with her.

The first one I saw was my dad, Pepere Beaulieu, who was standing in the doorway. It took me to walk about halfway down the hall before he recognized who it was in the robe and hairnet. He said "Well look who it is" and nine people filed out into the hallway to come meet you. I had to be clear with everyone that we only had a few minutes as you had to go be monitored and I had to return to your mother.

The next five minutes or so went by in a flash.

I don't remember who I passed you on to, or who got to hold you. I was very distraught in those moments as my thoughts kept going back to your mother and everything we had just go through. I remember seeing Matante Sondra so excited and crying, Michelle so happy that everyone was going to be fine but upset at how upset I was, Pepere P crying and telling you how beautiful you are. I was able to snap a few pictures until I saw my mom, Memere, and I just grabbed her and just started bawling into her shoulder.

It was a mix of emotions. So happy to meet you but I couldn't help but think of how things have not got to plan and hoping to see your mother doing well, and GETTING THE OPPORTUNITY TO HOLD YOU! Everyone was saying "Aww, Eric" and thinking it was the emotions of the moment that got to me, but I didn't know how to tell them that it wasn't that so I didn't say anything.

The nurse was giving me a look of "ok, we HAVE to go now". I thanked everyone for sticking around, told them that I would let them know how everyone is doing as soon as I could and told them to go get something to eat. The nurse and I walked back to the NICU, she asked me it it would be alright if they could give you a pacifier and some sucrose if they needed to calm you down, to which I said was fine. They walked me into the NICU to show me how to get back in if I wanted to and where you would be. I was then allowed to go see you mom again.

I then returned to your mother, now in the recovery room, but still sleeping. I spoke with the nurse to get more details on how the delivery went, asking about if that was all normal and what if any the complications were. I was informed about the large amount of blood loss and that she would recover well.

About thirty minutes passed before mom came to. She was a little confused at first but the first thing she asked about was you. Where you were and how you were doing. You were not allowed into the recovery room right away as your mom needed to get some fluid in her, but could only do so in small bouts. First ice chips. Then small amounts of water which increased as she was able to keep it down. She was so thirsty and just couldn't get enough.

Keep in mind, your mother had still not held you. She was just itching to get you back in the room.

Eventually, she did get that chance. I took a video of your first meeting which was my favourite point of it all. Mom just kept commenting on how beautiful and just perfect you were. She proceeded to not let you go for probably the next hour until we were moved to our room for the evening.

I think this is a good place to stop the birth story. I don't think the details of the hospital stay for the next three day s are that important here. All-in-all it was hard and emotionally draining experience, but the end result was just so perfect. We now have you in our lives and couldn't be happier.

Love you baby girl!
Dada

Baby Names

Picking a baby name has been one of the most challenging, time consuming and frustrating endeavours my wife and I have gone through in this process.

It has also been one of the most fun and rewarding things too.

We have finally come to a decision. After many, many months of list and back and forth, we have come to a decision.

But we aren't telling anyone yet. It is the only thing that we haven't shared with anyone yet. I am looking forward to the day she is born and we can introduce her to our friends and family by her full name.

Very exciting.

Stay tuned for the unveiling post-birth.

The Niagara Baby Shower

Oh boy, what a difference between the two baby showers. I won't have much to say to this one as, well, I wasn't there. I wasn't involved in the planning of it and it wasn't a surprise.

It was however wonderful from what I saw. The decorating was wonderful and quite thoughtful. The attendance was grand, warm and comforting. It was held at the in-laws house with help from Kim, my mom and my sister.

We then had to get all of the stuff home to Ottawa from Niagara. The car was packed completely.

Thank you everyone for all the lovely gifts and warm wishes.

The Ottawa Baby Shower

Wow. What a day. Today was the long awaited SURPRISE baby shower for the wife. It didn't exactly go down as planned.

To be honest, I did not plan on having any involvement in it at all. It was suppose to be a regular, well though out, baby shower planned by two of her best friends. They got together a number of times and planned a number of thing in which I was not involved and it was going just great.

Then tragedy struck.

The wife's best friend and the host-to-be for the shower's father passed away in a car accident in Peru while there on business. This happened on the same night as her fiance's grandfather also passed.

As you can imagine, this was an absolutely tragic night for them and all their family and friends. I won't go into great details about the situation and instead will stick to the shower.

Due her loss, she needed to go back home to be with her family. She wanted the show to go on, so we needed to find an alternate venue. Naturally, the only other location that made sense was that it be at our place.... the problem with this is that I still needed to keep it a surprise and somehow prepare and clean the house so that it was ready to receive 20+ people. The other thing about our place is that it is very closed, as in it's not open concept so we would need to squeeze everyone into one room.

In the few days before, I sent a message to all those attending letting them know of the venue change as well as sneaking away with Tiff's cellphone as she slept to get numbers for the friends I didn't have to ensure they knew about the location change.

I suppose I still don't know if I missed anyone that went to the original location? I think we're good.

The day of the event was interesting. Luckily the wife wanted to go to work early so we were able to get a bit more time. As soon as I dropped her off, I went to the grocery store and got a few extra items. I went home to meet a friend who was nice enough to go pick up a few items for me from the friend's house, at the original location, the night before as I didn't think I would have enough time. I then went inside and started doing the final cleanup. I finished any dishes we had lying around, prepared some meatballs, made sure the bedroom was clean and moved the chairs into the living room.

I then looked around and though to myself "This doesn't look like a baby shower to me". I then messaged the friend that was the co-chair of the party that had the most knowledge of the situation who informed me that she had a few things. She arrived along with another set of helping hands about 20 minutes later with cake and deserts in tow.

This was when I was the happiest all day. I was no longer alone in this fight against time. The next hour went very quickly with the arrival of a number of guests and the completion of the decorations.

The final task was actually getting her to the house whilst still trying to keep it a secret. Well her boss took on that task. They were scheduled to do training that morning and she mentioned that she will make the wife believe that she had to go to another location to get something and on the way would like to see the nursery that we had just finished painting. Well, while on the way, she didn't even have to say anything as the wife decided to blurt out "Hey, can we stop by my house and I can show you the nursery?" Seriously..... you made it that easy...

So they came over right away.

As she walked in this is how our conversation went:
Wife: "Hello?"
Me: "Hello!"
Wife: "Oh, who's here?" (noticing the shes at the doorway)
Me: "Oh, I just have a few friends over"
Wife: "Cool, me too"
Me: "Who?"
Wife: "Angie!" (as she walks into the main area and turns to see a room full of her friends)
Everyone: "Surprise!"
Wife (surprised face): "What?" (turning to Angie) "Did you know about this?"
Angie: "Obviously!"

It was fun. A few tears. Then the next thing she said was:

Wife: "Where's Becca" (the friend who was suppose to host). It was sad.

She went and got changed out of work clothes then came to speak to the guests then a few minutes later *BAM* From afar, her sister, mother, and family friend walk in, and she cried again. Good times! We love to make her cry.

Then about 20 minutes later *BAM* again from afar my mom, sister and a few family members show up. No tears this time, I think she ran out.

She was so unbelievably appreciative of the support and planning that went into the day. Everything seemingly went off quite smoothly in the end but did have one glaring omission. Becca. She was greatly missed but her presence was felt all over as a lot of the planning and the items prepared were all from her.

So, I would like to send a big thank you to Ryan for picking stuff up for me when I needed you last minute,  Patti for being a helping hand in the final stages, Angie for getting her to shower, to all the guests for being there, especially those who traveled from far and Michelle for being awesome, being the baker, the planner, the decorator, the executor and my saving grace in those few days leading up to the event.

The final heartfelt thank you goes to Becca. You were in the heart of the party without actually being there. The love felt for you from us is unending. Thank you for everything you did for my wife and unborn child.

More generosity!

As soon as we found out we were having a girl, one of my co-workers was SOOOOOOO excited. She was leaving on maternity leave and was about to have a boy. She had a girl a few years back, in fact her girl just started school, very cute pictures.

She decided that she wanted to give us ALL of her girl clothing. She didn't want to donate it as she feels like she was giving away her child and we were grateful to receive anything.

Holy Moly, I could have never imagined the amount of stuff she was giving us. In fact, here are some images of us sorting through our new found treasures...

Onesies, pants, shirts, shoes, bathing suits, coats and snow pants, bedding sets, blankets... you name it and it was in there. Three big microwave boxes FULL of stuff. We are very grateful.

So thank you Veronika for you generosity!

Horror Stories

It's amazing that when people find out that you are expecting, they find it necessary to tell you all the horror stories they have every heard regarding issues people have had with pregnancy.

Why do we feel the need to instill even more fear and worry into this process. It's already scary enough!

Nursery II

An update on the nursery for you. The wife had a friend over last week who drew a tree on the wall as an option for us. It's very nice and the friend is very artistic which I would easily trust with this task. The wife really likes this idea but we will see how it goes. The wife also found this today which she likes.

Seems that we may have found a piece that will be included into the nursery somewhere. One of many pieces i'm sure.

More to come

Generosity of those around us

I am overwhelmed by the generosity of those around us.

As soon as we made it public that we were expecting, all of our friends and family were quick to offer anything they had that could help us.

Obviously our parents are the first to want to get us anything. From the crib to clothing to car seats, they were looking to get it all for us.

My sister, and two of the wife's best friends instantly cleaned out their closets and gave her all their maternity clothing. Boxes and boxes of it. I don;t even know where to put it all. There are boxes all over our bedroom. We need to find a solution for it.

The wife's old boss has offered us a nearly new crib. Her current manager is looking to give us her bumbo, swing, and a bunch of other items that I can't think of. She also gave here more maternity clothing to add to the pile.

My coworker has told me that if we are having a girl, she has a lot of clothing for them. And if it;s a boy, we have a lot of options also as the rest of our friends/family with children all have had boys.

I love the people that I surround myself with.

Doctor/Hospital issues/debate

As we are from out of town and have only been here for six years (wow, how time flies). It has never been a priority for us to find a family doctors as we have always just gone to the clinic for any ailments or check-ups and they have always been able to refer us if need be.

Well with the baby on the way, we don't have a family doctor to lean on for a recommendation to a OB/GYN. What actually happened was the wife got a few recommendations from friends, colleagues or random people that found out she was pregnant. We took those recommendations and did a search fro reviews online. We found one that we liked the looks of and when we went to the clinic to confirm we were pregnant after the initial blood work, we got the referral to Dr. Dante Pascali. We were told to wait a week and if we hadn't heard anything to call them to see the status. After two weeks passed, and about 6 calls that were not answered (busy i guess?) we finally got through to a rude receptionist who basically told us that they would get to us eventually and that it could take months.

As I'm sure you can imagine, the wife didn't take to lightly to that as all the books say that "the first trimester is critical to your baby's development" and that "it is essential to get care in that first trimester". After having read about 17 books already, she was starting to get angry/worried that she hadn't seen anyone yet.

After discussions between each other and a few people, we chose to go with SoundCare Medical Centre (http://www.soundcaremedical.com/) which is near South Keys. Not the ideal location for where we live but we knew them as they took care of our dear friends during their pregnancy. We requested the same nurse/doctor duo which our friends had as well. Nurse Nicole is super down to earth and a no BS kind of gal. I like her.

Dr. Rousseau, who is the second half of the duo, works as part of a team out of the General Hospital so that is where our birth is "scheduled" to take place.

The hospital of choice was also cause for great debate for me at the beginning of the pregnancy... I told you... comparative shopper. I wanted to know which hospital would be best for my wife and unborn child. I went on to their websites, talked to friends and went onto "mommy and me" websites... which was kind of weird in itself. I was trying to dig up dirt from any one of them that I could.

In the end, I was able to find good and bad for each of them. I would be comfortable using the birthing units at any one of them but I think the biggest thing that stood out to me was that not all hospitals had a NICU and that should there be complications, the baby would possibly need to be separated from the mother and brought to CHEO. Whereas the General is attached to CHEO so that was a plus for me.

Not that we had much choice after we decided to go with SoundCare but it's reassuring none-the-less.